• 16:40 @Molly23 Asimov #

• 12:05 So I'm done at the gym. Yes, I joined a gym. I need to strength train. #

• 13:06 @realjohngreen In the words of The Lonely Island f/ T-Pain, "Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible! I never thought I'd be on a boat!" #
• 15:00 Dammit, nobody's ever going to hire me. I may as well give up on the whole breathing thing now. #
• 17:46 Joined a gym #likeaboss #
• 19:33 Dammit, I don't want to learn iPhone development, but if that's what it takes to get a job, oh well. #

• 17:34 Cool, got the retweets! #

• 23:21 I subscribed to HarmonyJoyride's channel on YouTube www.youtube.com/user/HarmonyJoyride?feature=autoshare_twitter #
• 23:45 @voxbaryton Who gives a shit about how "indie" a band is? Shouldn't the quality of their music be paramount? #

• 13:01 Running around #likeabos #
• 13:01 @ZomBeth The story of my life. #
• 17:48 Totally bombed an interview. #likeaboss #

• 11:07 @Greenpeniwrite *patpat* Don't you love reverse psychology? #
• 11:10 RT @Creaturefrom8A @maureenjohnson HATES tea. You should get her for it. @maureenjohnson: IS THIS TRUE? That's the unforgivable sin, yes'm. #
• 17:03 @maureenjohnson Really? Then start by telling me if you really hate tea. Or is that vicious slander by the @Creaturefrom8A? #
• 17:05 Just nominated @maureenjohnson for Most Interesting Twitter User to Follow mashable.com/owa #openwebawards #
• 17:05 Just nominated sweetafton23 for Best YouTube Channel or Personality mashable.com/owa #openwebawards #
• 20:39 @fakemaureen *pats MJ* We know, we know, you're the real Maureen Johnson. #
• 21:12 It's nice and cozy in my brand new housecoat. #
• 22:30 Just beat Chrono Trigger. Greatest. Game. Ever. #

• 12:33 I got up waaaaaaaay too early today. #

I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve been learning how to cook lately. It’s the natural reaction to everybody else having a job and me just sitting around the house, using the Tubertubes to hunt for a job: I have time to cook, nobody else does.

However, there’s a small problem: Bridget is a picky eater¹. I made a pot pie at which she turned up her nose because it used lima beans and mushrooms–it was great, by the way, but of course I could not convince her of that. Her biggest sensitivity is mushrooms. Obviously, she never played enough Mario as a kid.

This weekend, however, she’s in Nacogdoches visiting her fiancé (he works for the county there). Therefore, back at the ranch, we’re having mushrooms all weekend, as it’s one ingredient I’ve been wanting to use for some time. Interestingly, my mom’s always wanted to have sake, but never had the chance.

Tonight, therefore, I did something a bit different than the usual fare. I made a beef stir fry and a hot and sour soup, and paired it with a sake from Spec’s², both of which involved the use of Shiitake mushrooms. The soup also involved tofu, which is also different for the family, as we’re not big soy eaters (at least at home).

The meal went over very well, and for half of the calories that a similar meal would have run if we had dined out. As I remarked, the only regrettable part of it was that Bridget wouldn’t eat a bit of it (though I might have been able to sneak the stir fry past her if I didn’t say anything).

Tomorrow will be similarly themed, though the mushrooms will take a more central role. I’m doing a portabello mushroom sandwich and stuffed mushrooms, the latter will be served as an hors d’ oudrve at Thanksgiving³.

1. This wasn’t always so. I went to college as a fussy eater who would order plain damn near everything. Today, I’ll eat almost anything once, unless it’s incredibly greasy⁴ or otherwise unappetising.
2. Sadly, not the Spec’s, just the neighborhood Spec’s. Houstonians will know what I mean, but for those out of town, it’s the one liquor store in town that you know has what you’re looking for–at least the one on Smith is.
3. With some modifications: one of our guests keeps kosher, and though the sausage it calls for is a turkey sausage, she wouldn’t eat it due to the fact that it looks similar–it’s the same reason she wouldn’t eat cornbread during Passover. Thus, I’m using ground turkey instead. Also, I’m omitting the Parmesan cheese.
4. There are a number of restaurants that I haven’t visited since returning from college for this very reason.

• 11:35 @maureenjohnson But I was beset by snakes, and I'm such an ophidiophobe that I had a heart attack and died. I got better, though. #
• 17:51 @quidditchgrrl Not sure whether I should be amused or concerned. #
• 17:53 @voxbaryton You didn't already know about that? I'm sure I've discussed IPoAC with you. #

• 10:59 @ZomBeth The only reason I've ever felt that way was because I accidentally took too much of an antidepressant. #

• 12:51 Okay, I just signed up for a fledgling musician's mailing list. If she spams me, I'm cutting her so fast. #
• 12:52 @realjohngreen Holy crap! It's 1:00p and I haven't even brushed my teeth yet! I still need to bathe the dog, do dishes, and spam resumes! #
• 14:03 @voxbaryton The musician is @Molly23, better known on the YouTubes as sweetafton23. Seriously, go check her out. #
• 19:13 @julianunes A Barnes and Noble Nook and a bunch of video games. The former might be helpful, the latter not so much. #

I’ve now been looking for a job for the last year, entirely unsuccessfully. There was admittedly one offer, but the terms of employment were flat-out abusive (<$10/hr for a mandatory 2K mile move just isn't going to cut it).

One thing I've learned is that job fairs are a waste of time and paper. I've gotten more interviews off of Craigslist and Monster than I've gotten from job fairs. In fact, if they're not doing direct hires at the job fair (and they never are), it's not even worth going: you can be more productive by actually pounding the pavement.

Seriously, of every resume I've given at a job fair in the last year (over 100), not a single company has even contacted me again. I don’t even get an auto-generated scrub letter indicating (to me as a prospective employee) that they were never actually hiring in the first place. If I e-mail them, I will not get a response.

Of course, Craigslist isn’t much better: I may actually get phone interviews, but in the five months I’ve been looking at Craigslist, I’ve only gotten 2 interviews in person. Again, most companies will send me no more than an auto-generated email saying that they’re only looking at the “best qualified candidates”, which tells me that they did not read my cover letter and resume.

At this time, I do not ever expect to get a job. I fully expect to get swine flu and die within the next three months (because if you don’t have a job, you don’t get to see a doctor or receive medicine in the United States, and both my mother and sister are in high risk groups) or commit suicide within the next 6 from the mounting despair. I am tired of being kicked in the balls by every single person in the United States, and I just cannot take it much longer.

The fact that I hate myself (and have for as long as I can remember) doesn’t really help matters much, though.

• 20:36 @molly23 twitpic.com/opayu - I'd go with something decidedly non-sexual. How about "the Trucker's Cabin"? #
• 20:39 @Molly23 You can't have "The Champagne Room". That was my dorm room, as there was NO SEX IN THERE. #

• 09:50 photosinensis.net is down while I replace its battery backup. #
• 10:16 photosinensis.net is back up. #
• 13:36 @Lunalore How can you be happy for THE CANCER THAT IS KILLING /B/ASEBALL? #
• 13:56 @maureenjohnson If I were physically present, you wouldn't have security problems. #
• 14:46 We have pecans, straight from the farmers. #
• 14:50 @Lunalore I hope you're happy; that link crashed my Crackberry. for a moment, I thought my processor wad slag. #
• 19:54 @Lunalore The Wonkette link. And how can you root for cancer? It's killing my father! And baseball! #

As you’ve probably noticed, I fell behind on my video posting. I couldn’t get the time, and now I’m way behind: I’m already back in Houston. The same goes for my photo posts.

A factor in this problem was a few power outages here in Houston that took my uninterrupted power supply down for the count. As such, this site has been available only intermittently. This has also hampered my job hunting: until yesterday, I couldn’t even access my Craigslist scraper, and that’s fully half of the postings to which I respond.

Today, if you follow me on Twitter, you noticed that the site was down very briefly while I remedied the power problem. We’re now on a much larger power supply, capable of serving a 42″ HDTV, the DSL modem, cable box, a PS3, a Wii, and a Time Machine (for my mom’s backups and house Internet routing), as well as the box on which this site is hosted (because I needed a hard line in to the DSL modem to get this thing on the Internet, and the other available site, by the print server, is in much worse shape). Don’t try this at your home, kids, I’m what you might call an expert.

Those of you who have been following me for a while also know that I’ve been working on losing weight. I’ve now lost over 62 pounds. I was surprised to have lost 5 pounds on the trip, considering the fact that I was eating a lot of fast food (though it was mostly Chic-Fil-A and Subway, both of which have excellent low calorie menu selections) and was staying in a house where the idea of calorie counting was anathema. However, it’s good to be home where I can get a high-impact yet relatively low calorie breakfast (a smoothie made with nonfat yogurt and an apple, which provides 2 servings of fruit, 2 servings of milk, a multivitamin, 3 glasses of water, a serving of lean protein, and 2 teaspoons of cis-unsaturated oils¹, for less than 300 Calories). It satisfies my dairy, multivitamin, lean protein, and oil needs for the day, freeing me to eat more interesting things at lunch and/or dinner.

1. There are five oils in this category: extra virgin olive, canola, sunflower, flax, and safflower.

• 14:09 Suddenly I'm not three quarters the man I used to be. There's much less of a shadow hanging over me. Oh five months ago came suddenly. #
• 14:13 @drnoise I dunno, that's good, but it pales in comparison to bit.ly/49pEWC or bit.ly/OHmV, my favorite *rolls. #

• 18:05 Holy crap, my karma on Reddit has suddenly doubled. #
• 18:08 @maureenjohnson Really? If I should get married, I'm tweeting the whole damn thing and streaming it live on BlogTV. #

• 10:38 You shouldn't miss someone this much unless they're dead. #
• 11:19 Website's down again. Reportedly, we're having major storm problems in Houston. I'll fix it on Tuesday when I get back there. #
• 14:33 Why is socialized alcohol fine and moral, but socialized medicine is evil? #
• 15:09 Back in Charlotte. Going to an NBA game tonight. My boys aren't playing, though. #
• 16:15 I feel like there is something I should be doing right now, but I'm not sure what that is. #
• 16:41 I'm on a train. Can't believe I'm on a train. #
• 16:43 Wait, the train announcements are in English, not Spanish? Where the hell am I? #
• 16:47 @segarza No estoy. Me hace triste. #
• 17:49 Okay, trying out a Twitter client on my Crackberry. #
• 18:00 @Shinjikun34 Close. I once dated a girl because it was Thursday and I was bored. #
• 18:18 twitpic.com/nl7sb I found this at a genealogical library in rural NC. Thought it out of place. #
• 18:48 @segarza But I'm still quite white and nerdy. I'm just no otaku. #
• 19:08 Three pound pretzel? America, you disgust me sometimes. #
• 20:50 I'm too tired for double overtime. Seriously, guys, this is ridiculous. #
• 21:14 Charlotte wins by 2 in 2OT. Finally, I can go home. #
• 23:20 @voxbaryton According to my digging, that's actually NOT true--the only bill (one of five) with those provisions is unlikely to pass. #
• 23:21 @voxbaryton I found myself walking through the College of Charleston entirely by accident. #
• 23:22 @Shinjikun34 Nope, I didn't see any whales. #

• 11:00 In Charleston, SC. #
• 16:09 Sitting down for a slice of pizza at a parlor not even a block from a VERY urban university. #
• 17:21 Now at a beach resort town. Will walk the shoreline tonight. #
• 17:39 And now, I'm on the Atlantic coast. #

• 07:26 Shoney's for breakfast! #
• 09:56 McDonald's coffee is not as scalding as I remember. It's also better than the last time. Still, I will regret this cup. #
• 10:03 Where are my phone peeps? I've heard nothing from y'all. #
• 11:29 Mmm, Taco Hell. #
• 11:39 Man, I cannot believe how much our culture encourages gluttony. #
• 15:41 We found two non-cemetary graves today. And yes, they were relevant. #
• 20:31 @maureenjohnson If you keep it in /Users/[you]/Music/iTunes Music, yes. If you keep it on an HFS+-formatted drive, yeah. Otherwise, no. #

• 09:22 Up at a more godly hour. #
• 10:20 Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. #
• 11:44 Oh, and photosinensis.net is back up. #
• 13:02 Stopped at Starbucks for some tea. Earl Grey. Hot. #
• 16:14 Man, I've been raped in the ass by life itself, and the crime continues. #

• 07:16 On the road to King's Mountain. Being up this early goes against the natural order of things. #
• 09:51 I have some family history video. The Carrolls of Blackburg have been covered. This includes both Revolutionary War and Civil War vets. #
• 09:52 Those Civil War vets fought for the Rebels. There are Unionists in the family, too, just not here. #
• 13:33 Man, I've got a fair amount of video--and I'm not done for the day. #
• 20:29 @maureenjohnson I learned that my ancestors were really violent people. Of course, I should have suspected this sooner: they're Scots. #

• 12:14 I just walked to the end of my uncle's street. In so doing, I think he's in another state now. #
• 12:50 I's amazing that no matter how far you travel, the malls never change. #
• 13:44 Man, this os taking forever. And I'm at a mall that explicitly forbids jumping on a table at the food court and screaming "PENIS". #
• 13:44 Is, not os. #
• 14:37 I'm back at my Uncle's place. I now have batteries for the camcorder, as well as a charger. #
• 17:28 I uploaded a YouTube video -- My trip to the Carolinas, video 1 bit.ly/26GxEe #
• 17:36 Hey, Houston won. Currently, I'm watching the Panthers get their asses handed to them. #

First, a video of dubious quality. I’m only beginning to figure out my camera and iMovie. Perhaps some help from knowledgable YouTubers would be nice, but then I’d have to, you know, talk to people I don’t know. I don’t like doing that.

Today was a bit slower, with only a trip to a local mall to get batteries for my camcorder and clothes for the kiddos. No matter where I am, it seems that malls never change, and in fact have the same stores almost universally. The only malls I’ve seen that are any different from the usual pattern are the megamalls I’ve been in, namely the Mall of America and the Galleria–both of which have the typical stores and some other, more interesting places, particularly in the food court. Even if the mall is entirely outdoors, like the one I was at in San Diego back in August, it’s still the same–though that one did have a curry stand, which I did find unusual.

It does seem like a pattern is emerging: at the end of the month, I travel. Admittedly, last month did not see an adventure of this magnitude: it was just a small day trip to the north side of town back home. I’m beginning to learn to enjoy the travel, even if adventures make you late for dinner, and the food you eat makes you fat.

On the food front, I finally got in a serving of dairy again today–the first in three days, as until now, we’ve been running into places that serve only whole milk. Additionally, my uncle is a decent cook (better than my father, though things are occasionally a bit bland), but it does appear that the concept of filling but not energy dense food eludes him.

Tomorrow, we’ll be going to King’s Mountain. As such, I’ve got to get up early. Therefore, I’m going to try to be asleep by 10:00 local time, which is NOT the timestamp on this blog (since my webserver is in Central Time, and I’m not resetting my computers’ clocks. This is something I just have to keep in mind. I’m not adjusting to Eastern Time well at all–it’s too early to be so late.

• 10:27 @segarza Can't. I'm not even in Texas. #
• 10:28 @flourish Listen to most mainstream hip hop. Of course, one could argue that it's not just sexually degrading. #
• 13:08 I'm Rickrolling my father and uncle. They're not even dignifying it with a response. #
• 15:11 @segarza Is he a pretty pretty princess? Are there unicorns? Send my regards. #
• 15:32 Somewhere near Ashville, NC. I know I once knew someone here, but I've forgotten who it was. #

• 10:42 In Montgomery, AL. Soon to be gone from the same. #
• 12:33 Getting gas somewhere in Georgia. Also, air in a tire. #
• 12:52 Mmm, sashimi. #
• 14:25 In the ATL. Is anybodu paying attention? #
• 17:01 In Greenville, SC. Eating, then taking shotgun for the rest of the day. #
• 17:05 Yes, I've been behind the wheel ALL day. #
• 18:52 Somewhere in North Carolina. Yeah, my uncle lives in South Carolina. Don't ask. #
• 19:37 And I'm at my destination. No, we weren't lost, the approach in here is just really messed up. #
• 19:40 @nlfrederick Sounds like my lunch. Japanese food is awesome. #

I’m now in the Charlotte, North Carolina area–despite being neither in the city of Charlotte nor even the state of North Carolina. However, I can see the line of both from where I sit with my laptop without the aid of glasses or contacts.

This does mean that I’m away from Xbox Live as they release the rest of Abbey Road for The Beatles: Rock Band. I shall cry about it later. I’m exhausted after a long drive through 7 states (Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina) and crossing state lines 7 times (those of you following me on Twitter know that to get to my current location in South Carolina, we had to cross the North/South Carolina state line twice).

The drive here was rough: we went through driving rain through Texas and Louisiana. Things didn’t let up until we got to Mississippi, and conditions were so rough that we missed the Mississippi River entirely. Dad drove that. I drove today’s trip, and found myself just outside Atlanta, boxed in by other vehicles doing 70 in a 50. I managed to keep a proper distance between myself and the guy in front of me, but everybody was tailgating me something fierce.

I shall be posting video for this trip, but I will need to get a charger for the video camera. It seems I only have a part of it here with me. I’ll be updating YouTube with video and Picasa with still shots (did I mention I got a 32 GB Compact Flash card before coming here?), so watch those spaces.

While I’m here, I’ll be visiting my father’s mother’s side of the family. She’s actually from this area, and we’ve got family dating back here to colonial times–my ancestors owned at the time of the battle there during the American Revolution–three generations of whom fought at that battle (as, you know, it was on their back yard) for the Colonials. I’ll also be getting video and pictures of an ancestor who fought in the Civil War and is buried in Greenville, SC. He owned quite a bit of land between both Carolinas. The reason I bring this up is because his is a Union veteran’s tombstone. Let’s just say that my family in the area was as divided on the various issues at the heart of that war as the rest of the country¹.

I also hope to look for work in the area while I’m here. I’ve sent out feelers and resumes, but alas, nobody’s biting. Honestly, I don’t expect to find work. Ever. I know how my life goes. I got three years of mostly good days between August 1998 and August 2001. I don’t expect to see another good day again–I just expect to get kicked in the balls repeatedly, proverbially and literally.

1. I assume this is not unique amongst Americans who have more than one ancestor who lived in this country prior to 1860, unless their entire American ancestry was in California or Maine at the time.

• 08:45 I'm on the road to my uncle's place in the Carolinas. Wish me luck--I've got to put up with bigger assholes than my father on this trip. #
• 11:24 I'm now in Louisiana. At least it's not Vidor. #
• 12:29 I'm on the road again. Can't believe I'm on the road again. Well, actually, I can. #
• 19:19 Staying in Mobile. #

• 14:05 Kanye's dead? That's what they said. #

• 14:21 @segarza What's up? #
• 17:12 @lunalore I feel dirty drinking Starbucks, even their instant coffee. #
• 17:26 Balloon kid found in his home garage. In other news, balloon kid killed by his parents. #

• 16:40 198. This is the first time since 2001. #

• 15:14 I haven't twat in a few days. What's been happening? #
• 15:44 I'm going to the Carolinas in two weeks. This is NOT job related, bit I am looking to get interviews. #

• 20:36 @Lunalore Yeah, you probably are. I can't believe *I* care, but alas, I do. #

• 15:08 Hey, here's a video of my mom's truck. bit.ly/1b6goh #
• 15:12 @drnoise Short answer: no. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! #

• 18:35 I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but my mom got a truck yesterday. Now to get the two dead cars off the driveway. #

• 22:15 @maureenjohnson Not the press. The Moonies. Totally different group. #

• 13:17 I am now less than 5 pounds overweight. #

• 11:03 @lunalore given the season, probably weed pollen. I'm incredibly allergic to it myself. #
• 21:17 Going off the acid reflux meds. Not doing too badly, actually. I guess it was caused by being grossly overweight (still 6 pounds overw ... #

• 18:51 I'm going to a high school football game. Neither is my team. Should I pretend to give a shit? #

• 15:35 @AlanDistro Favorite song by a YouTube musician: "Peep Fight" by @Molly23. Quit looking at me like that. #

• 17:15 @fakemaureen Until the last couple of tweets, I thought you might be @realjohngreen, but he'd never type such things, even as someone else. #
• 17:39 @fakemaureen Really. I was like, "Oh, there's a @fakemaureen now? Reads like @realjohngreen. Oh wait, he'd never say THAT about unicorns." #
• 17:40 @fakemaureen Not even to slander @maureenjohnson. #

• 17:37 Avast! #

• 08:33 I'm in the Land of Uh today. #
• 23:34 @molly23 twitpic.com/i4n4i - That scared me. I'm leaving your hair. #

• 21:57 I subscribed to piglet1154's channel on YouTube bit.ly/MvT3V #

• 13:02 @RedditTraveler Scared, definitely. #
• 13:02 I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop now. #

• 21:25 @NikolHasler Yes, actually, I did. This is why I didn't mention the "rape guards" at the airport a couple of weeks back. #